What To Do When...Nothing Can Be Done
What to Do When...Nothing Can Be Done
When our students face their
life crises, we are powerless to change their circumstances. However, we
are not powerless to help. Here are SCORE's Top Ten Strategies for
helping a student through tough times:
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1.Listen. I know our time is valuable and listening isn't "fixing." But we can never fix their problems. Listening helps them find the strength to take action. Giving advice (even good advice) only makes them angry.
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2.Incorporate real life experiences into assignments. When they can explore their dilemma in a writing assignment, for example, they will find answers they didn't know were there.
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3.Be there. Jim Kok says 90% of helping is just showing up. A "thumbs up" sign, a nod, or a pat on the back may communicate far more powerfully than words.
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4.Take notice. Let them know you miss their comments when they are quieter than normal, their thoughtfulness when they talk aimlessly, and their presence when they are absent.
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5.Reach out. When they have withdrawn, sit beside them and quietly ask them for responses. When they disclose something to you, they are begging for someone to be brave enough to talk about it. Be that someone.
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6.Offer to accompany them. You may find they need more help than you are qualified to give. Ask if they will go with you to the school counselor or a twelve-step program. Offer to sit beside them while they talk to a parent (but don’t do the talking for them).
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7.Keep them focused. Life is full of tragedy, but life goes on. They must somehow learn to merge their grief or frustration with content so they stay on track academically. Teach them how to do that.
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8.Beef up their study skills. Learning to use powerful study skills will help your entire class! Give them skills for dealing with distracting thoughts and managing anger.
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9.Help them find their own answers. They get angry and shoot down all your great ideas, so don't give them! Instead, allow them to explore possibilities and find their own solutions.
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10.Get help. No human being can meet all his/her own needs; we fall short when we try to meet the needs of even one other person. An entire classroom? Impossible. You never violate confidence when you seek guidance from a mentor.
