To Fathers...and To FATHERS!

Happy Fathers Day, Dads!  Happy Fathers Day, "Heart Fathers."  Happy Fathers Day Mothers who are doing double duty.  May life bring you blessings greater than you can imagine.

I work with high risk students and adults during troubled times in their lives.  I often hear young men say, "I'm afraid to have children.  I don't get along with my dad; he didn't get along with his dad; his dad didn't get along with his dad."

Family dysfunction.  It exists.

But...patterns in your family can be broken.  Many of those young men faced their family issues and are amazing dads today...loving, involved dads who both cherish and "get along" with their children...in good times and in bad.

I saw my Dad only twice; I was 13.  Then he died.  My grandfather and my Uncle Alton were my heart fathers. Every Fathers Day I had the dilemma of finding the right card.  Those reading "from your little girl" just weren't appropriate, but the sentiment was.  I love them both; I cherish them both; I celebrate them not just on Fathers Day but every day of my life.

I never really knew my biological dad, but I am doubly blessed because I had two men who are my "heart fathers."

If your biological father and heart father is the same person, you are blessed.  Thank God.

Who do you celebrate on Fathers Day...and why?  If you wrote a Father's Day card sentiment, what would it say?

Have You Noticed?

Have you noticed that we're persons of extremes?

As a young mother, I experienced a period of life crises:  4 major deaths in my family, one of them my infant son, and a divorce.  Sadly, it is so traumatic to lose a child that 80% of couples separate within one year; most of those end in divorce.  I became that statistic.  I thought my life was over.

My counselor said I needed to give of myself in love.  He asked me who I was loving, and I named my son Jeff.  He and I literally started life over, just the two of us.  My counselor's response was, "Yes, and you're smothering the poor child!"

He was right.  I was so broken over losing one son that I almost destroyed the other.  I am grateful for his wise counsel and for the fact that he helped me to open myself up to life again.

When we don't find balance or peace, we tend to react to what hasn't been 100% effective, throw it out, and embrace it's opposite:

1. Do we teach Phonics or Word Recognition?  Duh!  Both!  Some words can't be sounded out; there are too many words to recognize them all.  Yet we bounce from one extreme to the other.
2. Are we college prep or career?  Duh!  Both!  Every child should graduate from our high schools with both the ability to go to the college or university of their choice and with a sell-able skill.  Yet we bounce from one extreme to the other.
3. Do we protect our children from life or let them learn for themselves?  Duh!  Both!  If we hold on too tight, we fill them with our own insecurities and thwart their growth.  If we hold too loosely, they feel insecure because they have no boundaries...thus no point of reference.  Yet we bounce from one extreme to the other.
4. Do we stay in a job that doesn't fulfill us or embrace our passion?  Duh!  Both!  If we simply quit that job to find our passion, we can't fulfill our current responsibilities.  We are rarely successful with our passion if we are irresponsible.  If we work a job that doesn't challenge and excite us, we lose passion for life.  We must find balance.  Marriages have ended over this issue!  Yet we bounce from one extreme to the other.
5. The list goes on...

How have you found balance in your life?  In your work?
How have you found peace between your passion and your responsibilities?

I'd love to hear from you.