Every Child Deserves a Pushy Parent!

I once asked a high school teacher,
How can we get more parents involved?

His reply...
Why would we want to?!?

When my son was in school I didn't know whether to be on campus or not...especially as he reached middle and high school.  I cared, I adored him (still do!), but at that age children act embarrassed when parents are too visible.  I had been a high school teacher so I was well aware of peer pressure.  Most of my parenting at that age was done behind the scenes.  I did a good job of that, but I wish I had also been more visible on campus.

At a campus visit to train new staff, I reviewed placement folders.  I found two sets of test scores almost identical.  One child had been placed in advanced English and math classes.  The other had been placed in remedial English and basic (below grade level) math.  I hid the high placement and asked about the remedial.  The counselor gave me what could only be considered a "song and dance routine."

When he finished, I pulled out the other child's folder and said, "Can you tell me the difference between these two children?"

He glanced at the names and said, "Parental pressure."

"Thank you," I responded.  You just told me I'm doing the right thing.  I'm teaching this child's parents to be pushy!

Every child deserves a pushy parent.  If they don't have one, YOU'RE IT!

A New Beginning? Yes!

One of the things I love about teaching is the fact that I get to have a lot of new beginnings.  If I have a difficult class, I start a new class the next year.  If I teach a unit poorly, I get to teach it better next year.  One year officially ends, and another begins.  I have "closure."

In parenting, we don't have that luxury...we have to live forever with our mistakes.  We learn from them; we build on them; we even repeat them, but we carry the same child through our learning years.  We don't have "closure," but we do have "relationship."  Even though I have to face my failures as I celebrate my successes, I would never give up relationship!  And most of my parenting failures turned out okay.  My son and I learned and grew together.  He is a better parent because of that.

Working through my failures both in class and in parenting, I had to learn my own "triggers."  I discovered I had two triggers that owned me as a parent.  When something triggered my grief over losing a child or my anger over the fact that Dad was not around to co-parent, I took it out on my son...until I learned the sources of my poor reactions and quit giving them power over me.

You don't need closure to have a new beginning.  Every year we have a new beginning.  We begin it together with our children.  Let's dismantle our active triggers this year and, instead, empower our children to become who they want to be.

One key to doing that is to "Pet the Dream."  See the video below to learn the process.

Pet The Dream