Sadly, I often find their parents and teachers do the same.
When we emphasize the negative, it gets worse. So let's stop it! Think, instead, about their strengths.
A strength carried to excess becomes a weakness. Decisiveness, carried to excess, is bossiness. Being good at talking, carried to excess, is air-headedness. Being a good listener, carried to excess, is wishy-washy.
When we emphasize the negative and ask, "What's wrong with you," in essence we are saying, "it's not okay to be you. You should be someone else." In other words, you should become fake in order to please people.
Instead, validate the corresponding strength and ask for a change in behavior: "I love listening to your creative ideas! Write that for me before you forget it."
Every child is 100% smart. Don't ask, "How smart are you?" Ask, "How are you smart?"
Instead of asking, "What did you do wrong?" ask "What works best for you?"
Help your children create a chart that shows how they are smart. Use their strengths (smarts) to help them learn in other areas. Capitalize on their strengths, and compensate for their weaknesses.
Here's an example:
20% Word Smart
35% Art Smart
10% Technology Smart
30% Athletic Smart
5% Social Smart
Look At Me! I'm 100% Smart!
Any child that can carry on an intelligent (or semi-intelligent) conversation with you has enough brain power to succeed through college. They can work around any disability. They need to look at what is right, not at what is wrong. They need to find great resources to help them succeed.
Two Resources:
1. Educationaltechnology.com shares a variety of web resources for teaching and learning. Yes, we want our children to "unplug" and be social. But we also want to take advantage of all the great resources the web provides. Here is a quick chart to help you help your children compensate for their weaknesses.
https://www.educatorstechnology.com/2016/01/a-handy-chart-featuring-over-30-ipad.html
2. Lockett Learning System's YouTube channel provides a wealth of resources. Click Here:
Here is May's post to help you help your children review for finals:
Study, Study, Study for the Test, Test, Test!
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